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Nkem Says: The Unique Perks Of Dating an Older Woman
I knew I was studying the right course in the university when our lecturer at the time, Dr. Ekeanyanwu Nnamdi(probably the best teacher I’ll ever have) mentioned that a journalist had to have a “nose for news” and “an eye for detail”. I certainly have all of that, including an ear for the most silent whispers. I notice and hear EVERYTHING. Matter of fact, I once narrated an event to my mother – an event that happened when I was just about a year old- with so much detail that she was shocked and was like: “How could you possibly know this? You were a baby” and I was like: “Yeah, it is what it is”
One of the places I like to visit and observe the people as well as surroundings is the grocery store. It’s amazing the kind of people you see and the conversations you overhear. To be honest, I didn’t imagine I would find anything interesting last Sunday when I traveled to Novare Mall to do some grocery shopping, though. It was meant to be a pop in, really. I wouldn’t even have gone, had I not been a little partial to the Game store… they always have the freshest of veggies and fruits.
As was routine, I was garbed in a worn out tee, PJ bottoms, and bathroom slippers, my signature resting bitch face…earphones plugged. I didn’t really expect to see anything interesting until I joined the queue to pay. On the line opposite to me was a white woman, possibly in her early 40s; her husband, certainly in his mid-20s and their son (the cutest little munchkin I’ve seen in ages). It was a difficult situation for me: I was torn between smiling at their very beautiful child and judging the older white woman who obviously lured the younger man to marry her.
I stared at her so much, that she feels probably uncomfortable. I mean, other people were also staring at her.
Why would she come and deprive us of such a handsome young man? She was not fashionable either; she was two times his size and she seemed to be a little slow. Just as I wanted, her eyes met mine and I could see the embarrassment in her eyes. Clearly, she was battling some insecurity. Who wouldn’t… if you have to deal with judging eyes everywhere you go with your younger husband?
Maybe it was the sad look in her eyes or how uncomfortable she seemed, but instantly I felt really bad. Who was I to judge? Am I any better? Since after the guy I dated when I was 24, the rest have been younger than I am actually…I mean nothing extreme like less than 4 or 5 years …still. I know firsthand why a younger man would sincerely opt for a woman older than him. It doesn’t always have to be for some kind of gain or the woman is not always in the relationship out of desperation either.
The thing is, tradition and religion have programmed us to expect the man to be the older one in the relationship. In Nigeria especially, most couples are about the same age and when they’re not, it’s the man that’s older.
Perhaps it is set that way as there is the belief that an older man will be in a better position to care for and protect a younger woman. Truth be told, it’s not always so. Most guys would actually go for older women.
From Peter Okoye and Lola Omotayo, Gabrielle Union, and Dwayne Wade, to Kaffy Shafau and Joseph Ameh. There are so many perks to being with an older woman!
An older woman most usually has got her own life: her own apartment, her own money, her own career. She doesn’t to depend on any man for survival in life really. When she is interested in a man, it is because she wants him. Her affections or love are genuine as well. The woman has been through enough ups and downs already and can handle just about anything. She is not desperate either. She knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go after it.
She may not have the same body she had 10 years ago, but she is not one to feel threatened by younger girls or get bitchy-jealous about exes. And why would she? She is comfortable in her own skin. She doesn’t blow her own trumpet, even though she knows time has allowed her to acquire skills far superior to her younger counterparts. She is hardly dramatic and is less likely to play games.
Quite refreshing is the fact that she does not move in a herd. She can make decisions for herself and she has good judgment too. She does not need the approval of a ‘larger governing body’; her man will never be in a position where he has to apologize to not just her, but every single member of her herd when they fight.
Most importantly, she has a wealth of experience and connection that informs her actions and decisions, and this is what will help her make him a better man.
Dating an older woman is by no means for everyone. It can sometimes come with unique challenges, but with all the perks that come with it, Nigerian men may want to consider changing their preferences and broadening their bracket when searching for love.
Also, onlookers may want to judge less when they meet a woman dating or married to a younger man…no matter the age gap.
As he continues to impact our society positively and find new frontiers, Mr. Seyi Tinubu leaves no one in doubt about his generosity and care.
To Borno with love
For a state still nursing deep scars inflicted by years of violent extremism, the collapse of the Alau Dam, Borno, on December 10 was yet one tragedy too many.
The flood from the dam overwhelmed two local councils in the state (Maiduguri and Jere), killed about 150 people, and displaced over 70 percent of its residents.
Maiduguri and its residents, who never seemed to get enough help for their protracted misery, needed more help after the dam collapsed.
When President Tinubu’s first son, Mr. Seyi Tinubu, with his younger brother, Yinka, and a few others visited the state and announced a donation of N500m, it came as a prayer answered.
The intervention was not only in cash. He also donated 10,000 pieces of mosquito nets, blankets, mattresses, kettles, wrappers, buckets, mats, sanitary pads and wash kits, as well as critical supplies to cover prescriptions for almost 50,000 children and adults, including anti-malarials, anti-hypertensives, anti-parasitics, anti-diabetics, analgesics and antibiotics.
The gesture, which left many pleasantly amazed, caused a ripple in several quarters, especially among those unfamiliar with such heartfelt generosity from the children of Nigeria’s first family without official titles.
Succour for PWDs
Many didn’t know that Seyi wasn’t a stranger to looking out for the distressed and vulnerable. For him, philanthropic and humanitarian gestures not only preceded the Maiduguri tragedy, but it’s a practice he determined to honour, almost like a tradition.
For example, in May 2023, during the Renewed Hope Concert at the MKO Abiola National Stadium in Abuja to celebrate President Bola Tinubu’s imminent inauguration, Seyi stirred emotions when he was seen handing out wheelchairs to some people with disabilities present at the venue. The event was attended by then president-elect Tinubu and Vice President-elect Shettima.
The elated beneficiaries, who saw his generous and thoughtful gesture instantly upgrade the quality of their lives, couldn’t contain their joy.
Youth and sports too
Fast forward to 2025, to the Seyi Tinubu Basketball Championship, held at the Dogon Dutse Basketball Pitch in Jos, offered where he donated a total of N5m in cash prizes, with N3m naira awarded to the victorious team and N2m, to the runners-up. It’s clear that Seyi Tinubu’s tradition of uplifting others certainly knows neither tribe nor religion.
For him, the championship—which the organisers said aligned with President Bola Tinubu’s Renewed Hope Agenda—was enough to celebrate youth, community spirit, and the power of sports to unite people across Nigeria.
A heart for healthcare
However, his interventions have mainly focused on health, with maternal and child health taking the lead.
Through his ‘Drug Banks for Indigent Patients in Obstetrics & Gynecology and Pediatric Pharmacy Intervention’ launched in August 2024 at the Ahmadu Bello University Teaching Hospital (ABUTH), Shika-Zaria, Kaduna State, he set out to reach about 600,000 indigent patients monthly across 60 tertiary institutions in Nigeria.
This ambitious project involves establishing drug banks in each of the 60 facilities mandated to service 10,000 indigent patients monthly.
At the inauguration of the project at the University College Hospital (UCH), Ibadan, Dr. Cole Ayodele, the National Coordinator for the Seyi Tinubu Maternal and Child Health Intervention Scheme, had noted rightly that Nigeria’s maternal mortality was about the 4th highest in the world – a grim record and narrative which this noble initiative from Seyi Tinubu is determined to change.
While launching the same initiative at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH), he further endowed an N1,000,000 scholarship granted to the best paediatric resident doctor.
Dr. Gabriel Oyeleke, a senior paediatrics registrar who was reportedly distinguished himself in the line of duty by caring for children in the hospital, was awarded the N1,000,000 scholarship in cash the same day.
The Chief Medical Director of LUTH, Dr. Wasiu Adeyemo, couldn’t hide his pleasure at the initiative. He noted that it would provide significant financial relief for countless indigent individuals who were financially unable to access prescribed drugs and medical treatments.
Before then, the team had visited the Federal Medical Centre (FMC) in Asaba with the total package, including the N1m Residency Training Scholarship for final-year pediatric residents to assist with registering and preparing for final fellowship exams.
Dr. Joseph Ajanwenyi, who got the scholarship award, thanked Seyi Tinubu for his generosity and also vowed to use the grant responsibly for its intended purpose.
After that, the Seyi Tinubu healthcare intervention train also stopped at the Federal Medical Centre (FMC) in Abuja to donate Life-Saving Drugs Worth Millions of naira.
While celebrating the donation on their Instagram page on September 24, 2024, the FMC Abuja management stated that the donation was Seyi Tinubu’s demonstration of his commitment to maternal and child care.
They also celebrated Dr. Fatima Mohammed, who received the N1,000,000 Seyi Tinubu Residency Training Scholarship the same day.
Medical bills cleared
From Abuja, we head back to the South, this time to Lagos State precisely, where Ifeoluwa Ore, a young sickle cell patient at LASUTH who had been discharged but could not leave because she could not afford the medical bills, was recorded thanking Seyi Tinubu for clearing her medical bills.
Unable to contain her joy and relief, she stated, “It has lifted a lot of burden for my family, and there is no way I can appreciate him enough. I want to say ‘Thank you’ for what he has done and what he is doing God will continue to bless you.”
One of his humanitarian projects, Seyi Tinubu Support Initiative, cleared the medical bills of Ifeoluwa and the others who were stranded.
By Maxwell Uzochukwu, he wrote from Lekki, Lagos.
Senator Monday Okpebholo, the Executive Governor of Edo State has shown that he is a blessing to the State with his policy, appointments, flagging off roads construction in the three Senatorial districts and his love for the people of the state.
Edo State Governor, Sen Monday Okpobholo
Governor Monday Okpebholo has started working and fulfilling his five (5) points agenda that he promised the good people of the state since he took oath of office.
In security, he has shown total commitment because he promised the people of Edo State that he will provide security and truly, Edo State is peaceful and people are happy about it. He has given necessary support to security personnels.
He increased Ambrose Alli University (AAU) subvention from N40 million to N500 million, he has promised to look into AAU medical students issue and the governor has started renovating primary and secondary Schools in the state, this is to tell you that Senator Monday Okpebholo knows the important of Education.
Agricultural sector has taken a good turn because he has awarded N70 billion to the sector. He knows the important of Agriculture to the state and nation at large, very soon Edo State will be the food basket of the nation with the way His Excellency, Senator Monday Okpebholo is investing in Agriculture.
During electioneering period, Senator Monday Okpebholo promised employment of 5000 people within his 100days in office and he has started the process, very soon, Edo State people will smile because he will not sign MOU before employing them. He has started appointing Edo State People and not Lagosians into various positions.
The people’s Governor, Monday Okpebholo has started his road projects across Edo State , from Edo South to Edo Central and down to Edo North, just because he believes that when the roads are motorable, prices of market products will drop automatically.
The governor has started investing in Health sector, this is because he knows the important of the sector to Edo State people.
By Eigbefo Felix
As I set out to pen this piece on this serene Sunday afternoon, my mind is drawn to the profound epistle of Apostle Paul to the Corinthians in 1 Corinthians 1:27-29: “But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; and base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in his presence.”
Edo State Governor, Sen Monday Okpobholo
Hallelujah!
I have chosen to begin this way because it resonates deeply with my assessment of Governor Monday Okpebholo’s leadership over the past two months.
When Senator Monday Okpebholo stepped into the political ring, many underestimated him. He wasn’t the loudest voice in the room, nor the most flamboyant. In a political landscape where the ability to raise dust often overshadows the capacity to lay foundations, Okpebholo’s calm and collected demeanor was dismissed as a weakness. But, as Apostle Paul aptly put it, God has a way of using the “foolish” things of the world to confound the wise. And indeed, Governor Okpebholo has confounded his critics with actions that speak louder than the hollow rhetoric of his predecessor.
To truly appreciate the transformation taking place in Edo State, one must first understand where we’re coming from. For eight long years, governance was more about optics than outcomes. The previous administration, under Governor Godwin Obaseki, was a masterclass in what the locals have dubbed “audio governance.” Projects were announced with great fanfare, but their execution remained a mirage. MoUs were signed and celebrated, only to gather dust in forgotten drawers. Roads that were critical to economic and social well-being were left to rot, with billboards proclaiming, “Please bear with us; this is a federal road,” as if to absolve the state of any responsibility.
Governor Okpebholo has flipped the script. He didn’t start his administration with loud declarations or endless ribbon-cutting ceremonies. Instead, he started with work—real, tangible work.
In just two months, Governor Okpebholo has demonstrated that governance is about delivering results, not excuses. The Benin-Auchi Road by Obadan Junction, long neglected, has received the needed attention. The failed portions of the Benin-Abuja Road in Ekpoma, which seemed destined to remain a nightmare for travelers, are now under repair. Roads that were mere campaign promises in the past, like Upper Ekenwan Road, are nearing completion.
Even the Aduwawa-Upper Mission Junction, a project that felt like a distant dream, is now coming to life. And let’s not forget the Temboga-Uteh Road, which now wears the Governor’s signature of progress.
One resident put it succinctly: “In just two months, this man has done more than others did in eight years. He doesn’t make noise; he makes things happen.”
Beyond roads, Governor Okpebholo’s administration is tackling the long-neglected healthcare sector. The construction of a modern health center in Udomi, Irua, is a testament to his commitment. The 2025 budget allocates N63.9 billion to healthcare and an additional N1.8 billion for a health insurance scheme, ensuring that no Edo citizen is left behind.
One of the most commendable moves of Governor Okpebholo’s administration has been his decisive action to sanitize Edo’s markets. By placing a ban on market unions, which had long been accused of oppressive and exploitative practices, the governor has brought relief to traders and consumers alike. These unions had been driving up the prices of food and commodities through arbitrary levies and monopolistic control, leaving ordinary Edo citizens to bear the brunt.
In his words, “Markets should be places of commerce and community, not oppression. We cannot allow a few individuals to profit at the expense of the majority.”
Since the ban, market prices have begun to stabilize, and traders have expressed gratitude for the governor’s intervention.
Edo State has not been immune to the scourge of insecurity, particularly the alarming rise in cult-related killings that claimed over 100 lives in 2024. Governor Okpebholo has tackled this issue head-on, adopting a consultative and inclusive approach. Through interagency consultations and his robust security meetings, he has fostered collaboration among law enforcement agencies and local communities.
This proactive engagement has led to a significant de-escalation of tensions and a peaceful resolution to many conflicts. As one community leader observed, “For the first time, we feel heard. The governor is not just issuing orders; he’s listening and acting.”
Another area where Governor Okpebholo has demonstrated his commitment to justice is in addressing the contentious issue of land grabbing. Under the previous administration, many communities and individuals saw their lands forcefully taken, their properties destroyed, and their voices silenced.
Governor Okpebholo has taken a firm stance, declaring that such lands will be restored to their rightful owners, provided they can present proof of ownership. This policy has brought renewed hope to many Edo citizens who had all but given up on ever reclaiming their ancestral lands.
“The government is here to serve the people, not to oppress them,” the governor stated. “We will right the wrongs of the past and ensure justice prevails.”
Governor Okpebholo’s 2025 budget, aptly titled the “Budget of Renewed Hope for a Rising Edo,” is a roadmap to sustainable development. With 63% of the N604 billion budget earmarked for capital expenditure, it’s clear where his focus lies.
* Road Development: N162 billion
* Education: N48 billion
* Health: N63.9 billion
* Agriculture: N75 billion
This is not just a budget; it is a statement of intent. It reflects the governor’s five-point agenda—security, infrastructure, healthcare, food sufficiency, and education—augmented by a renewed focus on agriculture.
Governor Okpebholo’s approach to governance can be likened to a diligent farmer. While others scatter seeds carelessly, hoping for a quick harvest, he tills the soil, plants with precision, and nurtures the crops. The results are already visible, and the harvest promises to be bountiful.
In reforming local government administration, the governor has brought discipline and transparency to a system that was previously plagued by inefficiency. His bold steps are setting a new standard for accountability and service delivery.
Governor Monday Okpebholo is proving that leadership is not about noise but results. He is confounding the critics and inspiring the citizens. As Apostle Paul wrote, God uses the weak and despised to bring about great things, and in Edo State, this truth is playing out before our very eyes.
Edo is rising, not on the wings of empty promises, but on the back of a governor who understands that actions speak louder than words. Indeed, Governor Okpebholo has become the farmer who sows in silence and reaps in abundance—a leader who delivers hope, one project at a time.
Fred Itua is the Chief Press Secretary to Edo State Governor
